Loving When it is Tough
Good Morning Friends,
Tough love is an expression used, usually for the purpose of justification, when someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in the long run. But I have met Bill Milliken who wrote the book Tough Love and I have to think it is not about harsh or stern treatment at all. Bill is more authoritative than authoritarian… more relational in a positive way. I would think that purposeful love must be the goal for any of this experience of life to make sense. Of course it can be derailed. The problem is that we do not know how to love. We do not know our purpose. We confuse our identity with getting things we desire and we desire the wrong things. Three images in the Bible are instructive here that help me begin to understand the progression that seems to be leading to a gradual reduction in violence in the Biblical History. My character draws me to think this process is also reflected in the growth of love is society. Meditate with me this morning on the story of Cain and Able, the story of Jacob and Esau, and the story of Joseph and his brothers as they learn about Loving When it is Tough.
Scripture: Cain said to his brother Abel, ‘Let us go out to the field.’ And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain, ‘Where is your brother Abel?’ He said, ‘I do not know; am I my brother’s keeper?’ And the Lord said, ‘What have you done? Listen; your brother’s blood is crying out to me from the ground!
Genesis 4:8-10 (NRSV)
Now Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him, and Esau said to himself, ‘The days of mourning for my father are approaching; then I will kill my brother Jacob.’
Genesis 27:41 (NRSV)
Realizing that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers said, “What if Joseph still bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong that we did to him?” So they approached Joseph, saying, “Your father gave this instruction before he died, ‘Say to Joseph: I beg you, forgive the crime of your brothers and the wrong they did in harming you.’ Now therefore please forgive the crime of the servants of the God of your father.” Joseph wept when they spoke to him.
Genesis 50:15-17 (NRSV)
‘For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.
John 3:16 (NRSV)
Message: Cain killed Able. Esau thought about killing Jacob and did not and Joseph who could have retaliated had mercy in his heart for his brothers. This is the storyline of personal violence and perhaps an instruction on the way out of it. Don’t get me wrong. I am not offering an earthly solution. It is all too complicated. Still it is relevant to think about it and Florida, where I live, is part of the focus. Since Trayvon Martin was shot in Florida the media has focused more on gun rights and racism than the core problems that lead to black on black, brother on brother violence. That bothers me. I am not one to place blame, for the situation is something I cannot understand fully. I am probably foolish for even writing about it for it could be interpreted as bla bla bla babble. Still the focus seems to be on the wrong storyline. There is a root of bitterness and evil here that only God can turn around. And I would like to think that through holy history God is doing exactly that. Data would indicate that this is happening but way too slow for our temperament. Friends, maybe the Amish got it right in grieving with the mother of the shooter who killed those kids in Lancaster County. Maybe our only future is made possible by forgiveness.
Pray we learn to love when it is tough. Pray we hear the cries of God for all those who have died from violence. Pray we understand that God can use evil for good but that we should not try this approach. Pray we realize that love is the better way. Pray we realize that we can do nothing apart from God. Pray our love is patient and kind. Pray we learn to forgive and to receive forgiveness.
Blessings,
John Lawson
Daily Devotionals 